Back from...Oregon?

It's amazing how a long stretch of pavement induces the reoccuring implications on MATRICIDE!
"That guy's a skin head!"
"Look at that shit on the road, a red car! Who do they think they are?!"

So to break the tidal waves of oppression against anyone and everyone- we ended this trival bit in the Cancer Song, which instead bent the confounded anger towards me.
"Testicular cancer is NOT funny!"
"God is not a transvestite! BLASPHEMER!"
and the ever insistent
"Stop pretending to be ________" or "stop doing that with your tongue" or "That's disgusting! STOP IT!"

So I stopped everything; then came the event where she begged for me to DO EVERYTHING all over again. Circus Maximus, I swear, I am a white faced clown.
She actually laughed at my "beach weasel" revenue and my many "fetal" pursuits. Not to mention "Indian-ing" every song I knew.

Guess what this one is!

So. I'm back is what I'm trying to say, back from ten futively HOT HIT HOIT days in Oregon.

White water Rafting

Dune Buggy riding <33333333

and of course- being almost drowned in the river by the currents...NOT! <3 we love the currents. they are our friends. Our comrades. Now...rapids are another story.

There's this bridge over the way on the river that alot of Mafioso compadres use as a dumping ground for bodies, we were told. Many floaters are found and it's common knowledge they operate a bit in the area we stayed around.
Spent many hours peering into the lake in hopes of finding some poor businessman wearing his pristine cement shoes. Didn't find a soul. Though the smell down there is repungant, horrific!
Snaps. Crackles. And pops.

Dune riding was unfatomably interesting.
we found a noose in which was lost on a particularly bad fall off of the end of a steep one. hehe, what can I say- damage will ensue.
First time on one of those and I got a warning for speeding, the guy told me I was pushing it too hard, that I was trying to do something that would inevitably wound, seriously injure, or kill me.
So what?
Donuts are fun and wheelies- though very tricky to pull off for a NEWB OMG- are amazing.
Soooooo, I fell down a dune =) that's what you get for trying to show off to the advanced riders.

Ha, they thought it was sweet though- pfft, sweetly HILARIOUS!
Almost ran Matthew down in the sand because he got off without warning...never play chicken with a chicken.



So I guess I got a bit sunburnt, so I'll admit that to the face of anyone. Since my face is too faceless to face up x.x
My forehead is on FIRE, WOMAN! BURN MOTHER FUCKER, BURN!

At Seaside, that was entertaining to a fulfilling degree, indeed!
Matthew and I recieved these "crab cookies" at the bakery because my mother is insistent that we eat a bunch of crap. Fatten us up for the oven, Hansel and Gretel unite!

Since at the time we weren't hungry, a fleeting glance and we know what to do...


So we proceeded around town- cookies in pockets- telling people:

"WE HAVE CRABS AND WE WANT TO SHARE! Would you like some crabs?"

Actually- many people said "yes" o_O even before they knew........



Not to mention the river gliding Jesus Duck, which we named "Oprah" ;the winning mallard! What a tranny. Watch him on his new weight-loss diet!


On the river rafting event, the guide and I got along much too well- our fathers both died in September of this year and we've both been having insomniac ventures- or rather- non-ventures.
Then we talked about trippy medicines such as "Calms" that can either put you out like a light....or consternate any option of sleep and keep you up thinking about the most arbitrary of things! it's speed, I swear by it!

The dreams you have on that stuff....for example, if I may go off and explain one of mine...:

Alot of blurr and anger; then the old elementary school shows up for some reason- the covered basketball courts.
This time they are fenced and barred, grafittied and grimey, very much differing from the sunshiny, cherub-faced splender of today.
There are two toilets, back to back, painted with clowns on them. Two people with worshippers and idolers all around sitting there. It's sort of a mockery, I can tell, but everyone treats them like actual kings, royalty, gods, anything divine! Though I know subconsciously this is to make fools of them. It's very dimly lit. Like a wrestling match at a Clown Circus.

For some reason, I'm at home now- mom is there, near a widow, humming and singing, very bright outside, but in the distance a storm is coming.

"You can't"
"What?"
"Teresa, you can't"
"No, I can!"

I have no idea WHAT we were talking about- but I opposed it either way.

"I won't let you."
"You're so fake, I hate you...I'm going to kill you."
"No, you won't- you're worthless and can't do anything. You can't even-"

But I cut her off...and I KNOW what she was going to say, because like a written drama, I wrote it out on my brain tissues; heaving a big snot wad into each one as we went along.
Somehow, I had a knife, so I slashed her in half with one...well...slash.


It was disgusting, so realistic; the feeling of spine connecting with metal and rippling through velvet lung fibers. Heart strings spurting flaming hemoglobin. It was warm too...and...tasted...tasted like fruit.

The strange thing is, when it was done- her torso kept walking around; kept walking, kept moving, kept living...and somehow had the ability to converse. It was very...alive.
The frontal part, top half, was somehow reverted to plastic of all things and she had no face. Alot of blood though. A manaquin with tresses.

This is where the rim of the storm came upon, the humidity part.
So, I hefted the font part, dangling it out the window...and I remember my thoughts exactly...they made no sense at all.

"I am drying my hair, that is all, just drying my hair."

her hair was dangling, alot longer than it is in real life, down the house and into the rose heads, where it got caught in the thorns.
Ripping at her face, her plastic face...

then her legs- the ever moving legs- came rushing towards me and literally BUTTED me out the window.

So, I fell with her front part, into the thorns and another land. But it was black, all black. Except for a voice.

"You can't you can't you can't"
and the end is "you can't love anyone, because"
and she doesn't say because ANYTHING, just BECAUSE!
So, that faceless face leans over, takes one of my eyes in her mouth and begins eating me.

For some reason I'm laughing and not bleeding- it's all green, my "blood" is green and I start just GUFFAWING so loudly, I can't hear the slurping of the gutteral sounds of comsumption

"I'm a machine YOU CAN'T KILL ME!"

"You're a machine, you can't FEEL!"

"...I just wanted a love letter..."